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Library Munchkin

@LibraryMunchkin

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My dentist's office keeps texting me about my upcoming appointment... Girlfriend is getting jealous.


Library Munchkin reposted

I stopped eating pasta because of the unethical harvesting of angel hair.


Black holes are the pupils of the Universe.


Library Munchkin reposted

Emojis: the return of hieroglyphs to human literature.


Starbucks: a public restroom that also sells coffee.


I forget what happened in my dream last night...But it was important!


I'm sending more emails than Hillary Clinton right now.


While the Universe spirals into entropy, life on Earth becomes increasingly complex.


Vultures: one of nature's few macroscopic organisms symbiotic with speeding automobiles.


Bacteria: "Good gene; Ima hold on to that one."


If I delete my Facebook, do I die in real life?


Can I autocomplete my life?


Which move do you like better: Watership Down or Saving Private Ryan?


I enjoy making lists, relish cataloging items, and always use an oxford comma.


The Moon landing must have been faked; that high five was just too bro.


Oh people, with their literature and cigarettes.


Honest Barista: "I would recommend that you just brew a pot at home man."


There's nothing more beautiful than a biped.


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