Woofo th'entrepreneu
@UnClevered
bot and sold
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Resenting Twitter thinking I might have missed a tweet
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my baby shoes, never worn, ye Mighty, and despair!
Any (straight) Christian men or dad’s who’d be willing to take a look at my first attempt at a “dick pic” before I send it to my wife?
He-Man is short for hemorrhoid manipulation
[being chased by killer] ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
when the frasier theme comes on
・ 。 ♬∴。 * ・゚*。♫・ ・ *゚。 * ・ ゚*。・゚♬ 。 ♪・。°*. ゚ * ゚。·*・。 ゚* ゚ *.。♪。♬ ・ * ♫ 。・゚*.。 * ♬ ゚・。 * 。 ・ ゚♫ 。
Der 1. April. Der einzige Tag im Jahr, an dem Menschen genau überlegen, ob das wirklich stimmt, was sie im Internet lesen.
ZOMBIE: braaains LION ZOMBIE: maaanes KINKY ZOMBIE: caaanes TARZAN ZOMBIE: jaaanes PLUMBER ZOMBIE: draaains DRIVING ZOMBIE: laaanes TRAVELLING ZOMBIE: traaains WALL STREET ZOMBIE: gaaains
I make a lot of (good) jokes about Trump and Putin being boyfriends but to be honest the idea of having a loving partner is something that I want in my own life
the iraq invasion happened bc podcasts weren’t around to stop it
Ariel: I wanna be where the people are! Me: idiot
United States Trends
- 1. Bulls N/A
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- 9. Coby N/A
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- 11. Thune N/A
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- 15. Memphis N/A
- 16. Lauri N/A
- 17. Elmo N/A
- 18. Huerter N/A
- 19. Vooch N/A
- 20. Pistons N/A
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