life_cubed's profile picture. 3.5 walls and a dream. A lot of s goes down when you spend 10 hours a day, 5 days a week in the exact same position.

Life Cubed

@life_cubed

3.5 walls and a dream. A lot of s goes down when you spend 10 hours a day, 5 days a week in the exact same position.

If you schedule a conference call at 4:00pm on a Friday you're an asshole and everyone hates you.


Was given a new electric pencil sharpener and reacted like a frat boy who just won both showcases on The Price is Right, now I need pencils.


When a coworker says in IM or email, "I would rather talk live", it means, "I don't want the bullshit and lies to be documented anywhere."


I record all of my conference calls, not for historical records, but to use as a sleep aid, shit is better then Ambien.


You can't say "don't shoot the messenger" when the message is that you fucked something up.


Everyone knows that on a conf call, "Sorry I missed that I was multitasking" really means, I don't give a shit and wasn't listening.


Was told I'm never asked to drive to lunch, because my car is a piece of shit, which is one of the many reasons I think my car IS THE shit!


Host of this conference call is so monotone he makes Ben Stein from Ferris Bueller's Day Off sound like David Lee Roth. #anyoneJUMP


Inspirational quotes in people's signatures inspire me to want to punch that person in the face. #FMJ


You know you're hated at work when after you sneeze no one says 'bless you' AND you're pretty sure you heard a faint 'F U'


I tried three of these, definitely making a video next time.Mashable Top 10 Office pranks on Youtube. on.mash.to/YgNIPm


Someone's doing dishes on this conf call. How do I know? I asked, "is someone doing dishes?" and they say, "Almost done". #trymuteahole


CW said they stopped by a bunch of times, but I always had my headset on. Hoping they never find out that's the only reason it's always on.


A lot of people want praise heaped upon them for simply doing their job. To quote Chris Rock, "you're supposed to you dumb mother f'er!"


Life Cubed reposted

Scientists have developed a new light bulb that could replace the typical fluorescent lights in office spaces on.mash.to/SHCRhB


Hint: If a CW tells you something you do or say "never gets old," it has gotten old and was actually never 'new'.


Just said on a conf call, "From what I understand some people won't be able to join due to some big storm" Some big storm?!? Really? #Sandy


Please don't try to work out your comedy act on conference calls, of course it's a "tough room" everyone has their phone muted. #Cubedians


If there was a rule on conf calls that no one could bring up a problem unless they have a possible solution, calls would be over in 1 min.


Office lights are all motion sensing. Instead of jumping up like an idiot every 10 minutes meet my new buddy.

life_cubed's tweet image. Office lights are all motion sensing. Instead of jumping up like an idiot every 10 minutes meet my new buddy.

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