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Matthew Zold

@MMZold

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Guy Fieri looks how my cat's breath smells.


Matthew Zold reposted

man gets vaporized after hearing the words "kanye west"


When that poor dog dies, it will TRULY be a “bones day”.


Matthew Zold reposted

I am absolutely devastated about Norm Macdonald. Norm had the most unique comedic voice I have ever encountered and he was so relentlessly and uncompromisingly funny. I will never laugh that hard again. I'm so sad for all of us today.


Matthew Zold reposted

me, pitching stoner metal: do you want to smoke weed on a saturday morning but also need to get motivated to go the gym? boy do I have a genre for you


Matthew Zold reposted

One year anniversary of the world's wrongest infographic

MarxGasol's tweet image. One year anniversary of the world's wrongest infographic

Siri, Google “what the fuck do I do with alfalfa sprouts now that I impulse bought them at Whole Foods”


Matthew Zold reposted

HBD @justinbieber 🎂🥳

MapleLeafs's tweet image. HBD @justinbieber 🎂🥳

Matthew Zold reposted

President Biden: We have lost more Americans to COVID-19 in one year than Americans who died in World War I, World War II and the Vietnam War, combined. What an appalling and incredibly sad moment for our country.


Family and friends: Hey man, you hanging in there? Me:

MMZold's tweet image. Family and friends: Hey man, you hanging in there?

Me:

Apparently I’m 54

Our motivation to "get up and go" starts declining around the age of 54



Matthew Zold reposted

my girlfriend talks in her sleep. i've noted them down for weeks, and turned her dreams into rupi kaur poems.

harrywmitchell's tweet image. my girlfriend talks in her sleep. i've noted them down for weeks, and turned her dreams into rupi kaur poems.
harrywmitchell's tweet image. my girlfriend talks in her sleep. i've noted them down for weeks, and turned her dreams into rupi kaur poems.
harrywmitchell's tweet image. my girlfriend talks in her sleep. i've noted them down for weeks, and turned her dreams into rupi kaur poems.
harrywmitchell's tweet image. my girlfriend talks in her sleep. i've noted them down for weeks, and turned her dreams into rupi kaur poems.

Matthew Zold reposted

I’ve seen the future and it is beans


It’s not Christmas until I hear Samantha James sing “Forgiveness” then eat a tube of toothpaste


Just move diagonally..

HAPPENING NOW: @TallyPD is asking for new handguns plus approval of a new vehicle called The Rook. Here’s what the one Apache’s County uses looks like.

JadaEWilliams's tweet image. HAPPENING NOW: @TallyPD is asking for new handguns plus approval of a new vehicle called The Rook. Here’s what the one Apache’s County uses looks like.


Matthew Zold reposted

This shit is getting old. #PresidentialElection2020


If Biden wins Georgia, I’ll buy yellow crocs


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