oh for pete’s sake
@MarcyJordan
I don't make monkeys, I just train 'em.
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Her sister was a witch right? And what was her sister? A princess, the wicked witch of the east bro. You're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong? Am I wrong? She wore a crown and she came down in a bubble, Matt. Grow up bro, grow up.
Vikings to the Giants:
about that time of year where i think buying 3 tiny gourds will heal me
Omg, Texas. What is wrong with us? I love us but we are so fucking dumb, y'all.
What…and I cannot stress this enough…the actual fuck. @wtsgirl
The secure Arizona voter data is being ‘analyzed’ in a cabin in Montana. This is absolute chaos.
Goddamn it, Texas. Are we ever going to be able to vote out this waste of space?
There is a male house finch feeding babies on my feeders this morning. I like to think he was like “hey babe I’ll feed the kids today, you just enjoy yourself on Mother’s Day.” And the female house finch was like “Great thanks, I get one day off. You’re such a hero, Gene.”
If you’re over 35 hire movers. You’re friends are too old. Nobody wants to slip a disc for pizza and 2 bud lights
Today we are all Leslie Knope.
I don’t believe in the death penalty. But I’m gonna make an exception for that piece of shit who trashed Pelosi’s office.
Oh, sweet Jesus, this is just... We deserve this, 2020. Thanks for finally giving us something amazing.
"i will not be manipulated in my own fucking house" i shout as i reach for my cat's treats again
Live Laugh Love.
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