Nigel Larson
@NigelLarson
Comedian, writer, drummer, human beatbox-er, wannabe voice actor, and player of video games.
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The main advantage to putting a laser sight on your gun is now when you point it at someone, he will be attacked by cats.
The political spectrum is no longer conservative to liberal. Now it's "dangerous" to "irritating."
At Subway cashing out. Me: I'll get a cookie.... Wait make that two. Cashier: If you get 3 you save 50¢ Me: You had me at 3 *Eats all three in car, doesn't tell girlfriend, she finds the bag, I move to Sweden*
Wait, so Louie CK's fantasy is to be humiliated, shamed, and for women to think he's gross, and disgusting. Wow, we've all really played into this one.
I was wondering why the police here are called Seattle's Finest and I was like, "Oh, the most fines."
It's not even 9am, and I've already managed to set my moustache on fire
Everytime I'm stuck in brutal bumper-to-bumper traffic I'm reminded highways were invented by Hitler
Overthrowing our democracy to put in a dictator is historically the most American thing we could do
I did all kinds of car stuff today! Like get an oil change, buy new tires, and back it up into a cement wall
The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a bomb carrying robot
I had @dominos last night and today my stomach sounds like a creaky old ghost ship
Scotland tried to leave the UK this year and ENG was like, "No! that would mess up our union... also that's a great idea. Fuck you Europe!"
Yeah Republicans, NOW you care about women's health and safety... Uh-huh #suspicious #bathroombill
Heroin use and homelessness effects us all. It's really robbed this country of places to sit in public
Drink pre-workout drink, get REAL excited, workout slightly better. Leave gym, feel like life is completely hopeless and I can't go on. WTF?
United States Trends
- 1. #WWENXT N/A
- 2. Harden N/A
- 3. Cavs N/A
- 4. #ProBowlGames N/A
- 5. Joe Hendry N/A
- 6. Thune N/A
- 7. Garland N/A
- 8. #Fallout N/A
- 9. SAVE Act N/A
- 10. #SummerHouse N/A
- 11. Quadir Copeland N/A
- 12. #HighPotential N/A
- 13. Skinner N/A
- 14. Chris Beard N/A
- 15. Elijah N/A
- 16. Isaiah Collier N/A
- 17. Reed Bailey N/A
- 18. Micah Parsons N/A
- 19. Kaitlan N/A
- 20. Liberty Prime N/A
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