william wise
@NormalManWisdom
I'd like to think that I'm normal but that would be weird. I enjoy easy women and the occasional rum and coke.
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if you are in college, don't be in one. #relationshiptips
if you're already good looking, will my binge drinking make you any more of a whore?
#reasonsiloveyou you don't wait a whole god damn hour to respond to my "hey" text
Why do sports bars routinely bring me water instead of beer as soon as I sit down?
you can only see the stars when its dark #deepmeanings/simplestatements
Slow down man. Yeah she's cute and all. But the odds of her being crazy aren't in your favor.
If you don't use the urinal next to me, don't expect a head nod of appreciation. But know that I silently approve.
If you're having to keep a girl a secret from your friends, re-evaluate your standards (and life) .
Man made beer, God made pot. Who do you trust? - poster in random guy's bedroom
If you're not picked first when playing thanksgiving football, make sure you're the one who makes everyone want to switch to two hand touch.
this isn't how I imagined it.... #weirdthingstosayduringsex
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