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Only Men's Humor

@OnlyMensHumor

Humor ONLY for Men. FOLLOW US if you enjoy our tweets and RETWEET our tweets also!

I would love to have a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted. #truth


@__0DD0N3 "I love you" is 8 letters...so is "bullshit".


"I love you" is 8 letters...so is "bullshit". #truth


You know nothing about a woman until she’s drunk and mad at you. #truth


Talking louder does not make you any less wrong. #truth


I'm jealous of my parents because I will never have a kid as cool as theirs. #truth


Dear Liver: it's Friday, sorry little man. #wishyouallthebest #bestrong


That annoying moment when you're in a restaurant, and you see your food coming, then the waiter decides delivers the food to another table.


My neighbors liked my music so much that they invited the cops over to listen.


What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girl all have in common? None of the dummies were smart enough to take it out in time.


3 words, 8 letters that leads you to instant popularity: 'I HAVE GUM'. #truth


During a phone at 3am: "Are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."


The walk of shame when you have to go pick up something you tried to shoot into the trashcan but missed. #truth #walkofshame


When food falls on the floor. Little Germs: Let's get it! King Germ: NO! We must wait 5 seconds. #truth #holdtight


My brain: "Hey, it's been 30 seconds, go check your phone again." #truth


Dear Kids today, pull your fucking pants up. #truth


Snuck a nice Mars bar into work...through my stomach. #truth


If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Monday. #truth #sotrue


If I die today, please someone clear my browser history. #truth #BallofShame


A guy came to the door and asked if I could donate to the local school's new pool. I came back with a glass of water. Is that wrong?


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