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The Poolesville Beet is proud to announce the one year anniversary of our crackdown on fake news.
Cyber Warfare: Leaked Media Center Footage Shows Fistfight over Last Computer for Cyber Monday Deals
Originality: Newly Re-Released Thanksgiving Poll Finds Out For What PHS Students are Most Thankful
#NotMyMathGrade: School Administration Bans Student Protest after Realizing Students Only Wanted Bump from Mr. Pulupa
Stunning and Brave: Scores of PHS Students Walk out of School at 2:30 PM to Protest Election Results
Food for Thought: Embarassed SMCS Department Demands Recount of Food Drive, Still Convinced Imaginary Numbers/Cans are Real
Monday Funday: Seniors Race to Meet UMD Deadline of Doing Something Interesting on a Monday for Once
Save Ferris... or Not: Poolesville Plague Out Three Days after Catching Poolesville Plague
Beet Exclusive from the Sponge Himself: "Junior hall looked nothing like Bikini Bottom. Whole thing was rigged."
Dropping the Baton: Poolesville Day Tractor Relay Race Cancelled Due to Safety Concerns after Speeds Exceed 100mph in Qualifiers
No Love for Love?: What play should the Midnight Players have gone with?
One, Two... Five!: Student Section Cheers Prove Best High School in Maryland™ Doesn't Know How to Count
#BuildTheFirewall: Administration Builds "Big Beautiful Wall" on School WiFi, Makes Students Pay for It
Off-Season Shape: Poolesville Policeman Maintains Ticketing Finess after Giving Jaywalking Tickets to Stray Cats and Rodents All Summer
Grow a Beard and Change Your Name: Group of Freshman Stranded Outside School for 4 Hours after Forgetting the Secret Knock to Main Entrance
Cutting Corners: Lucky PHS Student Wins Big at Post-Prom with 40" Flatscreen; Ms. Levine Begins Search for Missing TV from Office
Fowl Play: Local Chicken Fined $40 for Jaywalking by Poolesville Cop; "To Get to the Other Side" Apparently Not Valid Excuse
Trying Asbestos They Can: MCPS Guarantees PHS Renovation within Next Decade; Promises to Put Less Asbestos in the Next One
New Highscore!: Poolesville Cop Quadruples Ticketing Quota after Busting Seniors for Jaywalking to Football Field
Déjà Vu: Familiar Faces Take Part in this Year's Historic MCPS SMOB Election
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