Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

Greendale's finest Postman ! 🍺🍺🍺 parody . . . obviously 🙁 #PissedUpPat #PatStats

Greendale

四月 2017 加入

4千帖子 5千关注者 395正在关注

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Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

年2月15日

PC Selby came to my house tonight . He said - "Pat, it looks like your wife has been hit by a bus" I said - "I know . . . But she's a good cook and she keeps the house clean" #PissedUpPat

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. PC Selby came to my house tonight .

He said - "Pat, it looks like your wife has been hit by a bus"

I said - "I know . . . But she's a good cook and she keeps the house clean"

#PissedUpPat

Postman Pat 已转帖

Today I helped Ted to put some signs up , the second job was new letters above the Post Office. He said - "Send up a letter P, Pat" I said - "we haven't got a 'P' . . . We only have a 'B" He said - "We must've really messed up 'The Greenadale Brick Company' sign earlier"

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. Today I helped Ted to put some signs up , the second job was new letters above the Post Office.

He said - "Send up a letter P, Pat"

I said - "we haven't got a 'P' . . . We only have a 'B"

He said - "We must've really messed up 'The Greenadale Brick Company' sign earlier"

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2018年2月8日

Reverend Timms phoned Doctor Gilbertson to ask if they are offering free incontinence pants to the over 65's in his area ? She asked "where are you ringing from ?" Reverend Timms said "from the waist down"

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. Reverend Timms phoned Doctor Gilbertson to ask if they are offering free incontinence pants to the over 65's in his area ?

She asked "where are you ringing from ?"

Reverend Timms said "from the waist down"

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

年9月17日

I spent this afternoon helping Ted Glen to renovate Dorothy Thompsons bathroom . . "Time For A Pint Ted" #TedsBodgeJob #LeaveItWithMe

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. I spent this afternoon helping Ted Glen to renovate Dorothy Thompsons bathroom . .

"Time For A Pint Ted"

#TedsBodgeJob
#LeaveItWithMe

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2022年2月3日

I said to the wife - "I was chatting with Ted Glen in the pub last night, and he said that he has shagged every woman on our street except one" She said - "oh . . . I bet it's that stuck-up cow at number 12" 😳

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. I said to the wife -

"I was chatting with Ted Glen in the pub last night, and he said that he has shagged every woman on our street except one"

She said -

"oh . . . I bet it's that stuck-up cow at number 12"

😳

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

年12月2日

This morning I phoned Doctor Gilbertson - I said . . . "Hello Doctor , I think i have an ear infection , and am going deaf" She asked - "can you describe the symptoms ?" I said - "yes Homer is a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. This morning I phoned Doctor Gilbertson - I said . . .

"Hello Doctor , I think i have an ear infection , and am going deaf"

She asked - "can you describe the symptoms ?"

I said - "yes Homer is a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

年6月15日

🥹 that's my boy 🍻

Julian clifton

@JulianClif92118

年6月15日

"Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Postman Pat! 🥳Thanks for delivering all the love, and occasionally, my lunch money! 📦😄 Love you more than you love the pub ! 🍻 #FathersDay"

JulianClif92118's tweet image. "Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Postman Pat! 🥳Thanks for delivering all the love, and occasionally, my lunch money! 📦😄 Love you more than you love the pub ! 🍻 #FathersDay"

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

年6月8日

"one more parcel to deliver Jess , it says after 12 o'clock on the instructions . . . Sod that , the pub will be open . We will just leave it on Miss Hubbard's Door-step" #PissedUpPat

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. "one more parcel to deliver Jess , it says after 12 o'clock on the instructions . . . Sod that , the pub will be open . We will just leave it on Miss Hubbard's Door-step"

#PissedUpPat

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2024年4月19日

"Hello Greendale Primary school ? . . . . My four year old son has been attending Spanish lessons at your after-school club for the last eight weeks and all he can say in Spanish is the word 'Please' . . . . . . . . That's poor for Four isn't it ?"

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. "Hello Greendale Primary school ? . . . . My four year old son has been attending Spanish lessons at your after-school club for the last eight weeks and all he can say in Spanish is the word 'Please' . . . . . . . . That's poor for Four isn't it ?"

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2018年2月2日

The Reverand had his bike stolen, I told him to "read out the 10 commandments at Sunday service and when you get to 'though shall not steal' see who looks shifty" . . . He said "I did , but when I got to 'though shall not commit adultery' - I remembered where I left my bike"

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. The Reverand had his bike stolen, I told him to "read out the 10 commandments at Sunday service and when you get to 'though shall not steal' see who looks shifty" . . .

He said "I did , but when I got to 'though shall not commit adultery' - I remembered where I left my bike"

Postman Pat 已转帖

noob

@evilnoob

2021年1月3日

Postman Pat is a bit different these days...

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2018年3月17日

Oh a postcard from Ted from his holiday at a nudist camp - Dear Pat Having a great time, sports day was rather strange as they did the sack race in polythene bags . I was disqualified from the mixed leap-frog for not jumping high enough. Wish you were here Ted.

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

年5月18日

I met Ted this morning and said - "Hello Ted , how did you get on with Doctor Gilbertson yesterday to help you to quit smoking ?" He said - "excellent Pat , She gave me some Nicotine patches . . . I took them home , put one over each eye and I couldn't find my cigarettes"

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. I met Ted this morning and said - "Hello Ted , how did you get on with Doctor Gilbertson yesterday to help you to quit smoking ?"

He said - "excellent Pat , She gave me some Nicotine patches . . . I took them home , put one over each eye and I couldn't find my cigarettes"

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2022年1月26日

" Good Morning Mrs Goggins , is everything OK ? " "No it isn't Pat . . . The Doctor has put me on some sort of steroids and I've started to grow a penis" "Anabolic ?" "No, just a penis Pat"

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. " Good Morning Mrs Goggins , is everything OK ? "

"No it isn't Pat . . . The Doctor has put me on some sort of steroids and I've started to grow a penis"

"Anabolic ?"

"No, just a penis Pat"

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2019年8月22日

Well . . . . That's my recycling bin put out 👍 #PissedUpPat

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2024年3月2日

Mrs Goggins said- "Good morning Pat, you smell very nice" I said - "its my aftershave , its a new one called 'come to me'. " She took another sniff and said - "well, it doesn't smell like cum to me"

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. Mrs Goggins said- "Good morning Pat, you smell very nice"

I said - "its my aftershave , its a new one called 'come to me'. "

She took another sniff and said - "well, it doesn't smell like cum to me"

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2024年4月7日

Yesterday there was a note on Rev Timms door that said 'Pat, if you come to deliver my parcel and I'm not here - please hide in the garden shed' It was four hours before he came home and found me crouched behind his lawnmower.

PostmanPat__'s tweet image. Yesterday there was a note on Rev Timms door that said

'Pat, if you come to deliver my parcel and I'm not here - please hide in the garden shed'

It was four hours before he came home and found me crouched behind his lawnmower.

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2021年3月10日

"Bloody stupid wishing-well !!! . . . . . I did NOT wish for a twelve-inch Pianist"

Postman Pat 已转帖

Postman Pat

@PostmanPat__

2022年1月29日

I saw Reverend Timms, he had found 3 unexploded hand-grenades from WW2 while digging at the Church. He had them in a wheelbarrow and was taking them down to the police Station. I asked - "what if one of them goes off ?" He replied - "I'll tell them that I only found 2"