NJo
@RandomVariable4
Economist, Statistician, Analyst, MBA, Gourmet, Chef, Satirist, Avid-Reader & Shiv Bhakt.
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When you win, be kind. When you are stuck, be kind. When you are upset, be kind. When you are scared, be kind. When you are ignored, be kind. When you are in doubt, be kind. When you are disappointed, be kind. Always be kind. Even if no one is looking.
Respect for life, empathy for others feelings and compassion for all act as catalysts for spiritual progress ~ Gaur Gopal Das #compassion #respect #empathy
<3
My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Based on the speed and incline of the treadmill, the woman next to me at the gym broke up 2 weeks ago.
Just called the bank for my account info,, and a voice whispered 'If you break the pack in half, Ramen noodles can last you two days.'
I like to wear a stethscope around my neck so that when there is a medical emergency people learn a valuable lesson about false assumptions.
No girl is going to love a man who post stuff like "need cuddles" She's already got one pussy she doesn't need another.
I wonder if women can hear the magnificent sounds of the symphony orchestra when their bra is removed...
Girl just told me her roommate sits around watching Netflix all day and never goes out and now I kinda want to meet her.
Its called an ORgasm, not an ANDgasm. We'll get you next time babe.
An Apple fan walks into a bar and orders the same drink as yesterday but pays more.
I just want someone to touch me the way a woman touches a pair of shoes she cannot afford.
The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.
A Coffee so strong... you make it more than halfway across the White House lawn before anyone even sees you.
*Puts condoms on store counter... Clerk: Do you want a bag?... No need, she's not that ugly.
For best kale smoothie: 1) Fill blender with ice 2) Place kale in trash 3) Pour rum in blender 4) Add fresh fruits 5) Blend well 6) Enjoy
I'm not trying to brag but when I get naked and climb in the bathtub, the shower gets turned on.
Mexican magician: "I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos…" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres.
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