John Gloveman
@SPSSS
Full time food organ & world's #1 Frasier scientist. Comedienness. I play Claire Dunphy on TV's Modern Family.
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![hnrysml's profile picture. My dream is to use word-based humour to end all my friendships. [they/them]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1206797065579188224/jI8P1x2q_x96.jpg)
julia garner most confusing name bc it calls to mind both julia roberts and jennifer garner but she is neither
sure just delete the load-bearing wall from your house lol
If The Truman Show was real all the extras would be bisexual since they're so good at improv
"the new superman movie is actually really good --" do you know how unlikely that sounds. do you know how much of my training i would need to disregard to believe that
what i want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet
in the italy. straight up "leaning it". and by "it" , hahah, well. lets justr say. my pisa
don't joke about that. an eleganza extravaganza killed my sister
I genuinely believe God herself created Carly Rae Jepsen as a messiah figure, a universally perfect person. Something for us all to enjoy and strive to. Her personality could end wars.
“and its from call me maybe” i’m not sure i like your tone
"Before you came into my life i missed you so bad" is one of the most romantic sentences ever uttered and its from call me maybe
Going up to a woman and saying "cutie police! you're under arrest" and then pulling out a real loaded gun
Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.
I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching tv shows, and playing video games is harder than any job
Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid
[to the bus driver as I’m exiting] you were like a father to me
Bro last night was exactly as the prophecy foretold
Is there an app that lets you simultaneously to Bluesky and the other one yet
does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 3 weeks? i’m still living here but we can sleep in my bed together
please text me back i’m about to start making stuff up in my head and the stuff is all bad
This girl i follow on instagram is naming a straight person that sucks everyday for pride month but they aren’t famous people they are local people we know and i have never respected anyone more
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![hnrysml's profile picture. My dream is to use word-based humour to end all my friendships. [they/them]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1206797065579188224/jI8P1x2q.jpg)
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