Elliott Whitlow
@SQLDatabaseDude
Database and systems developer since 1987. Over 20 years working with Microsoft SQL and other DB flavors. Where does the time go?
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@SQLBek from @SentryOne presenting on queries and optimization at our PASS Group meeting.
The best thing about finishing a 105 ounce slurpee from 7 Eleven is the look on Satan's face.
4th grade students preparing to visit the Respiratory System using Virtual Reality today!
Stealing login credentials from a locked PC or Mac just got easier arstechnica.com/?post_type=pos…
Congrats to @SQLReeves on becoming a #BimlHero. View Reeves Linkedin profile at bit.ly/29YruEh #biml
I'm not anti-Oracle but I have private jets that cost less than Oracle licensing.
You have to check out BottleKeeper! It's amazing! bottlekeeper.com
@DBArgenis would be pleased, @PureStorage is demoing to @YetAnotherSQL and other DBAs at Granite City in the Quad Cities
Me: *singing "Don't stop believing"* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit
Hahaha, that's cute..
Getting to work and see everyone around the other DBA’s table looking at what he is doing ift.tt/1QTyy42
You start a new contract and you find that not one of the databases are in source control,… ift.tt/1fu2mU7
When the developer asks what I did to make their query run faster. ift.tt/1LnRWRL
when developers, yet again, show you that they don’t understand data types by using a bigi… ift.tt/1I0TpsF
Getting asked why dev (with FORTY EIGHT DBs up on the host) batch jobs are “slower than pr… ift.tt/1gNwLxr
“Hello Temp table, this is my close friend memory pressure.” “I don’t believe the two of y… ift.tt/1MW4AZc
When the SAN team and the sysadmin team both finally realize it *isn’t* the database. (HT … ift.tt/1E8A8cx
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