SQLDatabaseDude's profile picture. Database and systems developer since 1987.  Over 20 years working with Microsoft SQL and other DB flavors.  Where does the time go?

Elliott Whitlow

@SQLDatabaseDude

Database and systems developer since 1987. Over 20 years working with Microsoft SQL and other DB flavors. Where does the time go?

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Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

@SQLBek from @SentryOne presenting on queries and optimization at our PASS Group meeting.

QuadCityPASS's tweet image. @SQLBek from @SentryOne presenting on queries and optimization at our PASS Group meeting.
QuadCityPASS's tweet image. @SQLBek from @SentryOne presenting on queries and optimization at our PASS Group meeting.

Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

The best thing about finishing a 105 ounce slurpee from 7 Eleven is the look on Satan's face.


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

4th grade students preparing to visit the Respiratory System using Virtual Reality today!

FillmoreDCSD's tweet image. 4th grade students preparing to visit the Respiratory System using Virtual Reality today!

Stealing login credentials from a locked PC or Mac just got easier arstechnica.com/?post_type=pos…


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

Congrats to @SQLReeves on becoming a #BimlHero. View Reeves Linkedin profile at bit.ly/29YruEh #biml

Varigence's tweet image. Congrats to @SQLReeves on becoming a #BimlHero. View Reeves Linkedin profile at bit.ly/29YruEh #biml

Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

I'm not anti-Oracle but I have private jets that cost less than Oracle licensing.


You have to check out BottleKeeper! It's amazing! bottlekeeper.com


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

@DBArgenis would be pleased, @PureStorage is demoing to @YetAnotherSQL and other DBAs at Granite City in the Quad Cities


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

Me: *singing "Don't stop believing"* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit


Hahaha, that's cute..

Was he fuming in anger after getting this? ift.tt/1NmBtxb

GeorgeTakei's tweet image. Was he fuming in anger after getting this? ift.tt/1NmBtxb


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

Getting to work and see everyone around the other DBA’s table looking at what he is doing ift.tt/1QTyy42


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

Did you just say SSMS will now have “Check for Updates”? ift.tt/1g2gXGn


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

You start a new contract and you find that not one of the databases are in source control,… ift.tt/1fu2mU7


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

Forgetting the Where clause on a delete statement ift.tt/1LjpGzz


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

When the developer asks what I did to make their query run faster. ift.tt/1LnRWRL


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

when developers, yet again, show you that they don’t understand data types by using a bigi… ift.tt/1I0TpsF


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

Getting asked why dev (with FORTY EIGHT DBs up on the host) batch jobs are “slower than pr… ift.tt/1gNwLxr


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

“Hello Temp table, this is my close friend memory pressure.” “I don’t believe the two of y… ift.tt/1MW4AZc


Elliott Whitlow รีโพสต์แล้ว

When the SAN team and the sysadmin team both finally realize it *isn’t* the database. (HT … ift.tt/1E8A8cx


United States เทรนด์

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