Space Trumpet
@Spacetrumpets
Im a trumpet disguised as a horse and im here on vacation.
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Bill Clinton 1992 - putting people first Barack Obama 2008 - change we can believe in Kanye west 2020 - I dun spent 60 racks at the mall
Coexisting with the ' inked up ' generation makes me wish I wasn't cognitive.
You never see wasps in nightclubs because they insist on wearing track-suits.
Wonder if that guy wearing a tight t-shirt in December feels inherently inferior.
Horse walks into a bar & the barman doesn't make a pun , every carries on with their day.
Stop putting gift tags on your children's presents they're supposed to be from Santa you monsters.
If I was ever going to get plastic surgery I'd get a stuffed falcon bolted to my forehead.
You never see a wasp in a nightclub because they insist on wearing track suits.
Buses are like lions , you spend hours waiting for one then it shows up and collapses your wind pipe in seconds.
Serious question , have you ever seen a squirrel having a bad time ?
* takes bong hit ' so why do you want to work here at the post office ? '
yeah I'm fine my wife is fine my kids are fine yeah im working yeah yeah yeah we don't have to talk.
Crumbling relationships look so happy on Instagram don't they.
Women ,if your friend is occasionally tweeting mildly depressing things followed by half naked selfies go & give her a hug shes lonely.
Loses access to children * tap dances to work every morning *
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