Your Broke Professor
@Synapsid
Real teachers in your area! Click now to 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁
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your "subculture" is as real as McRib scarcity, so grats on that
Conducting important autumnal science. Combining a packet of salted cocoa oatmeal with a packet of pumpkin spice oatmeal to see if it tastes terrible or amazing.
alarmingly younger gf (scrolling tiktok): i don’t even fw jjk like that but toji phonk edits go so hard 40-year-old ivy league lesbian academic stroking her hair: they used to call these AMVs in the Bush administration
Getting sucked into a Boeing 737's engine intake and coming out the otherside with my tie undone and covered in kissies
get famous or die trying* * (fake your death. make it really ostentatious & elaborate. bask in the media attention from a false identity. stage a resurrection. start a cult. recruit highly placed individuals in government and media. become a recognized religion. meet Conan)
getting insanely famous not for the money, not for the babes, not to leave a lasting legacy in the world it's all for the fanart babeeeeey
drinking the cheapest energy drink money can barely buy & drinking it in one swig to enter communion with my gamer ancestors
none of my classes anywhere i teach have enough students enrolled to run. i hate this
she's being invalidating. she says you're just an Insect. she keeps refusing to call you a bug. she says only hemiptera are True Bugs. she does not recognize your non-scientific identification
i can't explain why but the bit right at the end has killed me, from laughing harder than anything in a long while has even come close. something about the visual and sound together
they have something like that but for birds and it launches them
gotta hand it to em, i wasn't expecting that
"Good. Drown. In your greed and hubris you have undone us both. It's the smallest of favors you could grant me," I say to the gnat that died in my iced coffee i have to dump out now
*approaching an ancient tomb you see two guardians* "One of us always has her tits out because she wants to be gendered as female. The other has their tits out to challenge normative conceptions of gender presentation. Choose wisely traveler"
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