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Unconfirmed reports @realDonaldTrump has same skin conditions as Michael Jackson. Orange is the new black. #OrangeIsTheNewBlack
ＭＥＲＧＥＲＳ ＥＴＥＲＮＡＬ ＲＥＧＡＴＴＡ ＧＲＡＶＩＴＹ ＥＮＴＩＴＬＥ ＲＡＴＴＬＥＲ ＳＬＡＹＥＲＳ
Who decided to call it "joining a group of metric system enthusiasts" and not "getting with the pro-gram"?
@luxvideowall Anoup is ready for Carrot top and a kiss on the mouth.
You know there are 50,000 battered women in Canada. I eat mine plain.
My girlfriend wanted to roll play in bed. I wore a helmet and pretended to be retarded. She didnt like it but fucked me anyway!
@BriannaReinson I seriously doubt that. I think you are pulling our legs! $$removed pun$$
I just cooked a package of bacon as the first step to making chocolate covered bacon. I can't wait!!!!
Soon I will go from the world of a independent contractor to an employee. I feel like this transition won't be easy. :-(
Why do women wait until you aren't available to tell you that they have always wanted to sleep with you?
I have a new enemy. All because she never shows up on time. Imagine how much I hate you!
@BriannaReinson I am like the average guy and likes to be forced into gang sex with a group of lesbian ghosts but sm times I want a choice.
@BriannaReinson either a snuggle or simply ask my permission before violating. Either would do.
@BriannaReinson happened to me once. My rear was sore for two days and not sleep over or a kiss before left. I felt dirty!
I found a fart sound board today that is giving me hours of endless entertainment. fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_boa…
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