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Typical Patrick

@TypicalPatrick

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"It's crazy how close to God you can feel while you're still eating a taco."


"I'm basically a resident at Taco Bell."


"If a guy is allowed to give himself a vagina, then I should be allowed to marry peanut butter."


"If you get mad at me one more time, I'm gonna straight up try to make out with you." #TypicalPatrick


"Christening" the toilet at my dorm first thing. #TypicalPatrick


"Have you ever thought about how weird big toes are?" #TypicalPatrick


"They don't make fun of people for being straight." #TypicalPatrick


Crying during The Fault In Our Stars. #TypicalPatrick


"Do you have to pay to get into graduation?" #TypicalPatrick


"If I can't get a burrito then I have to suck on somebody's nipple!" #TypicalPatrick


"I feel like I'm at that point where I need to cover my butthole." #TypicalPatrick


"I'm bringing margarita mix" Patrick: "Is she hot?!" #TypicalPatrck


Getting some protein before I turn up #TypicalPatrick


Woke everyone up because there was a straw in a mcdouble. #TypicalPatrick


Went to sleep drunk, woke up blowing a .07 bitches. #StayTurntMyFriends #TypicalPatrick


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