The Classless Chaps
@_ClasslessChaps
The Classless Chaps are an Albuquerque based performance troupe who specialize in sketch, improv, and new media! New jokes daily!
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Nutrition labels really be like: Monosodium glutamate, wheat, artificial flavorings, sesame extract. NOT A SIGNIFICANT SOURCE OF VITAMIN E.
Does loving someone with a Robin Williams amount of body hair make you a furry? Asking for a friend.
Comment with your favorite pizza topping and tell us why it's Vicodin.
Does the term "banana hammock" apply to only one banana or an entire bunch?
Kindergarten teachers tell you that "y" is only a vowel "sometimes" but don't tell you when it's not. And we just accept this like the little sheeple we are. Wake up, kids!
After making love to your partner, roll over and don't say a word until you fall asleep. Relationships thrive when there is a bit of mystery left.
Here's my impression of an extreme couponer who is getting divorced. "I'm leaving Sharon! I can't believe I wasted the best years of my life with you!" (Not everything revolves around coupons).
Most people never refine their finger painting or other grade school-level skills. Go ahead and try tracing your hand in the shape of a turkey. I'll wait… . . . . . . Garbage.
Tweeting this from a car that’s sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Thought I would take advantage since my 5G is finally working.
Light beer!? That's for babies. I only drink full, synthetic Penzzoil motor oil. It keeps my organs lubed and ready to work. (Penzzoil would like us to state that they do not support this tweet and that you should drink Valvoline instead).
"If former Patriot player Patrick Chung changed their name and renounced their US citizenship, they would be an ex-Pat, ex Pat, expat". - Your dad making a joke to distract you on the way to grandpa's funeral.
I don't listen to music these days. I mean, if you put Olivia Rodrigo, Doja Cat, Willow, and Ed Sheeran in a line up, didn't allow them to make sounds, and put a blindfold over my eyes - I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
A "barrel full of monkeys" is only fun if opened before the printed expiration date. #joke #comedy #monkey
When someone says or does something you don't like, don't punch down at them. Punch up instead. The birds are coming for us. We have to take as many of them out while we still can.
I can hear my wife watching #anime in the next room. I have no idea what's going on, but homeboy needs to CHIIIIILL!
My cousin slipped on a banana peel once. It was funny, even when he went into a coma. After a while, it became less funny, but he just played the joke out. Five years later, it became funny again and he woke up. Son of a gun always had good timing.
Family shouldn't feel weird giving each other sensual baths. That's why those #fastandfurious movies are so hard to believe. Bust out a loofah, Vinny.
"You ever see that movie, 'Demolition Man'? Well, it's a lot like that, except with women". - Me, lying to my friend about the plot of the "Sex and the City" #movie.
Let's never forget that in 50 Shades of Grey, Christian Grey says, "I'm 50 shades of f*d up". Thus proving that Grey knew he was a character in a #film who could make meta references to his understanding that he is living in a simulation. Thank you for coming to my #TEDTalk.
“I have a lot in common with Vincent Van Gogh” - Some loser with one ear.
![teachlittlelamb's profile picture. [Future] Mrs. Lamb. RCA Inspired. Teacher of Leaders. Believer. Uplifter. Avid Reader. Birthday Cupcake Consumer. Diet Coke Drinker. Wannabe Gardener.](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1058359448987688963/qeVOAArK.jpg)
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