alex_theacorn's profile picture. ๐Ÿ’| Dog Mom | MILF to be

Alexsandra

@alex_theacorn

๐Ÿ’| Dog Mom | MILF to be

Pinned

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alex_theacorn's tweet image. ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

The audacity of my baby to come out looking EXACTLY like her father


I cannot believe my due date is in a week.


At this point in pregnancy I am in a constant state of having to pee and my heartburn is so bad I could throw up at any second.


I cannot believe that Iโ€™m already 30 weeks pregnant ๐Ÿคฏ


Less than 100 days until baby girl comes ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŽ€


Pregnancy is cute until your back hurts and you have heartburn 24/7


Just watched a girl do whippets in Target. So happy Sunday.


A grown man told my boss that he feels personally victimized and attacked by me after I told him he cannot order a drink for someone who isnโ€™t here.


The wires that go to our house stopped working so Iโ€™ve only had power in half of my house all day. Patiently waiting since 3pm for DTE to come. 11pm and my prayers have been answered ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ


Nail techs really deserve to be tipped because some of yaโ€™ll have nasty ass feet


Every time I guest bartend, I realize why I never worked at a night club.


I have so many mosquito bites. I look like I have chicken pox.


My biggest flex is being married to my literal best friend ๐Ÿ’•


Starting on the second half of my sleeve today, sorry mom!


Chopping all my hair off and going blonde again โœŒ๐Ÿผ


Alexsandra reposted

Our Father who art in heaven, Baja be thy Blast


My dogs started doing this fun new thing where they kill birds and bring them INSIDE


When the nurse puts a bandaid over the freckle on my arm instead of the place she gave me a shot. I mean good try, but now I have blood on my shirt.


Toilet paper math has me confused every time I grocery shop


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