alsoarf's profile picture. my body is a machine that turns bad ideas into worse jokes • 30 • 🏳️‍⚧️

Avyri

@alsoarf

my body is a machine that turns bad ideas into worse jokes • 30 • 🏳️‍⚧️

Avyri reposted

What is a dentist's favorite price? $2,000! (Tooth OWs, and HOLLERS)


Avyri reposted

me to my 4 year old son: i just got off the phone with santa and he is so angry about what you did that i am genuinely afraid for your life. we need to put you in hiding because at this point i think he would even kill me to get to you.


i’ve started describing the weather with words i don’t know the meaning of “bro it’s goddam obsequious out here”


“play stupid games, win stupid prizes” is such an evocative phrase, like do they host stupid games at a Stupid Fest? how do i get tickets for Stupidcon?


guess what this is a reply to

it escapes samsara bro get a grip



Avyri reposted

If all girls broke free from gravity, the first thing we'd do is cast safety nets above each city so they don't float into space. But sooner or later, mankind would find ways to exploit women. We'd build girl-powered warp drives. And that makes me sick


Avyri reposted

It’s just a joke dude. It’s just a form of speech. Speech doesn’t communicate ideas


need a man that can look past my masculine figure, proportions, voice, socialization, self-destructive tendencies, disregard of therapy,


Avyri reposted

There’s no way pi is infinite . Circles usually aren’t even that big


Avyri reposted

Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time contains an unused enemy called the Scoot Bloop, a Blooper whimsically wearing shoes. It has two attacks: a regular one and a "do nothing forever" attack where it just freezes in place and refuses to end its turn, trapping the player indefinitely.


Avyri reposted

i’m calling donuts ‘donts’ to remind me not to


if you’re hearing from me you can assume something is wrong. if you don’t hear from me you can assume something is wr


Avyri reposted

I never considered the car could top. Maybe I’m a bad person.


i like to think i have realistic goals; buy a new car, be someone’s dog, save up for SRS, be someone’s sister, be someone’s daughter,


Avyri reposted

wataa this chudai that wataa bout the Lord Jesus Christ chudai'd for our sins


look ma, i made it 🥹

alsoarf's tweet image. look ma, i made it 🥹

Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.