The Angry Developer
@angrydeveloper
We have a hilarious and notoriously angry co-worker. We tweet what he says. He doesn't know.
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I would personally like to thank the rain for making my grass so high my lawnmower needs stilts.
These people at (partner company) are so fucking needy. They need a fucking blanket or something.
(Local burrito place) Another time there a dude was rolling a burrito and it split and like made a huge mess and he asked me, “Is this still ok?” Like are they docked for any lost tortillas or something?
I don’t understand why a tool that’s so fucking opinionated about declarative configs to create deterministic deployments forces you to use :latest, which pretty much shits on the very idea. What fucking crack are these people fucking smoking?
Me: “Surely nobody would ever be stupid enough to put a space in a model number and break all my shit.” Narrator: “The did.”
CW: “Anyone have kernel panics with new MacBook and Catalina? seems to happen overnight while it sleeps.” AD: “I had one the other day, but Catalina asked me if I wanted to allow them, and I said no.”
Sometimes CSS feels like you are trying to paint a wall with a toothbrush.
(Slack reminders) “Every morning at 9am slack is like BRRRRRRR like a fucking machine gun.”
“Me reminds me of the dude who played Earl in My Name is Earl. What’s his name?” “Earl?” “No asshole the actor!”
“So what’s the sprint goal?” “Do all this stuff!” “That is a terrible sprint goal.” “Do all this stuff as fast as possible!”
(Sprint planning) Points are like cryptocurrency. They don’t really fucking mean anything unless you want them to!
(In Slack, discussing code structure for a new project) CW: “Where does the Java go?” AD: “/kick [cw]”
This is why we can't have nice things.
how to get funding: keep saying blockchain really fast until people in suits get confused and throw you money
Some political garbage is on delaying the Star Trek broadcast. Oh yeah... this is why I don't watch tv. It's just a big shit sandwich!
“Got rid of the last production Gentoo server.” “End of an era.” AD: They’re not all gone, we just moved the trailer behind the new house.
“So after fighting with it for hours, (AD) Windowsed it. He turned it off and back on. And then it worked.”
“I’m sure we’ll never have two document systems going at the same time.” “No, we have FOUR!”
(AT&T fiber) It might be pristine fiber that is hand polished by a artisanal installation team, but it’s still just 20Mbps internet.
If you need something you just go to amazon and fucking buy it. If they don’t have it, it’s because you are trying to buy a Nintendo Switch.
I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth though. =( I wouldn’t rage if I didn’t actually care.
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