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Sleeping will be difficult tonight, I keep playing in my mind how exhilarating it would be to catch a sharpie in mid-air. Pipe dream I know, but can you imagine?
Last night Trump attacked Medicare for All as "socialized medicine." Funny. I didn't hear him complain when he received the best socialized medicine in the world for free at a 100% government run hospital. Yup. Trump loves socialism for himself, rugged individualism for the rest.
Let the Hot Ones guy moderate the debate while Trump and Biden eat spicy wings
We brought back the Steakhouse Mac & Cheese because we like making people smile while they chew.
Don't worry about those Confederate statues being torn down. They're getting what they always wanted: out of America.
We mashed up @BarackObama’s Bin Laden speech with @RealDonaldTrump’s al-Baghdadi speech, and the results are amazing
Here’s video of Trump getting booed again, this time by the whole stadium.
We got no troubles 🦞 Life is the bubbles 🐡 Under the sea 🐠
No, we were not invaded last night by Martians but we appreciate the level of confidence you have of us to stop intergalactic invaders. 🛸🛸🛸
He gave his life to save others. He’s a good boy and he will never be forgotten. Rest In Peace #K9Cigo
i have performed my final security lap. around the household. i’m happy to report. snoozles are a go
My first picture on #Mars! My lens cover isn’t off yet, but I just had to show you a first look at my new home. More status updates: go.nasa.gov/InSightStatus #MarsLanding
It really upsets me that two women kiss in a parade and get all this press, while Colin and I have been doing the same thing for years and get NOTHING! Do I have to do him on live T.V? Because I will!
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