bengullard's profile picture. et tu, bro?

Ben Gullard

@bengullard

et tu, bro?

Pinned

You emerge from your cave, starving and weak. Your zen master asks "Dumps like a truck. Thighs like what?" "What?" you reply. You ascend.


*Tiny Tim voice*: We are the weirdos, mistuh!


It's 2022 why can't we Like emails instead of replying.


Ben Gullard reposted

watched a horror movie with @bengullard a few weeks ago and at just the right moment he said “ah i remember laughing and shouting indistinctly as a child” and i haven’t stopped laughing since


Ben Gullard reposted

She wears short skirts, I haunt an opera She's cheer captain, and I haunt an opera


Ben Gullard reposted

Be the reason why your house is haunted


Ben Gullard reposted

Whenever I see someone trying to parallel park I avert my eyes and continue walking giving them the privacy they need because I’m a decent human being


Does the McRib spend the rest of the year in the underworld as the bride of Hades?


Ben Gullard reposted

okay, drink maple syrup with an ant for three days straight


Ben Gullard reposted

You should be allowed to hand a cop whatever trash you’re holding.


Ben Gullard reposted

I hope this email finds you living in a shotgun shack I hope this email finds you in another part of the world I hope this email finds you behind the wheel of a large automobile I hope this email finds you in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife


Ben Gullard reposted

my shoes probably think i died


Seems like learning how to survive those years in my late twenties spent not having a job, barely going outside, and panicking about the future really paid off.


Ben Gullard reposted

Anderson Cooper is a legend.


Ben Gullard reposted

my only regret is that i have but one Grid to Go off of


Me watching Joe Biden during the debate

bengullard's tweet image. Me watching Joe Biden during the debate

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