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You emerge from your cave, starving and weak. Your zen master asks "Dumps like a truck. Thighs like what?" "What?" you reply. You ascend.
watched a horror movie with @bengullard a few weeks ago and at just the right moment he said “ah i remember laughing and shouting indistinctly as a child” and i haven’t stopped laughing since
She wears short skirts, I haunt an opera She's cheer captain, and I haunt an opera
Whenever I see someone trying to parallel park I avert my eyes and continue walking giving them the privacy they need because I’m a decent human being
Does the McRib spend the rest of the year in the underworld as the bride of Hades?
okay, drink maple syrup with an ant for three days straight
You should be allowed to hand a cop whatever trash you’re holding.
I hope this email finds you living in a shotgun shack I hope this email finds you in another part of the world I hope this email finds you behind the wheel of a large automobile I hope this email finds you in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
Seems like learning how to survive those years in my late twenties spent not having a job, barely going outside, and panicking about the future really paid off.
my only regret is that i have but one Grid to Go off of
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