Beezus
@bobtester
my ass is almost as fat as my girl friend's
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Win a year supply of Aminos+bottle of YEAH BUDDY from Ronnie Coleman! All you have to do is vote for RCSS here - sdqk.me/2c2xImoO-z7Qxy…
I just voted for Jerry O. in the Janitor of the Year Contest. #JOTY cintas.com/janitoroftheye… #JOTY
My only prediction is that Marco Rubio will deliver a rousing victory speech no matter what place he comes in. #NewHampshirePrimary
. @PennJillette Responds to @realDonaldTrump trashing him - @OpieRadio ... youtu.be/3nfLjbvvpC8
Smoking weed as i drunkenly read about @jimmyfallon and his drinking problem. Cheers Jimmy. #merica
The millionaire biochemist who wants to defy the body's aging process: di.gg/1SQY8FF
giving away signed copies of my book "Did I Ever Wake Up" to 5 people who retweet this because....why not?
Ted Cruz is a bunch of silly putty stuck to the skeleton of a Salem witch trial judge who was killed in a fire lit by his favorite slave.
U know what's cool Donald fucking Trump? Respecting old ladies...
"Chris Christie, how do you react to news that Paul Kantner has died?" "Well, that's another reason why Hillary's a bitch..." #GOPDebate
smokin weed at the table in Norms diner, they wanna kick me out but I'm too nice + smiley 😎
VIDEO: People tries to finding NEMO. Meanwhile I m trying to find my chicken in the curry sauce @Manchu_Wok
Shkreli is like if James Spader's character from Pretty in Pink was an ugly virgin whose parents sent him to hip hop camp.
Happy birthday to the sweet, adorable and wildly talented @arielwinter1. My promise to have Ed O'Neill crush anyone who hurts you remains. 😘
Can't 1 skanky dick sucking stripper be classy. Just 1. #godlesswhores #daveattellreferencefuckgod
Yeah and u got millions of peeps believing the world is 3-6000 years old. #scienceIsHope
Rapper B.o.B. legitimately believes that the Earth is flat.
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