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if you’re not interested in hearing what my dogs have to say in the voice i think they’d say it in, don’t come over.
Hey cops stop taking drugs off the streets we're gonna need those
Me at my 225th rodeo: "What the hell is going on?"
Let's both sleep in our jeans tonight baby
Great story. Don't ever tell it again.
How the hell is it already October 16th, last time I checked it was 1998
Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I wanted to skip this meeting.
All you idiots and dummies. You've ruined it for the rest of us regular morons.
Hobbies include withering in direct sunlight and stripping the soil of nutrients
My hidden talent is turning small issues into big issues through the power of *anxiety*
me: i think i might be pulling off sexy today. teeth with lettuce: not so fast.
I remember most things I've done by the food involved.
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