Captain Zed
@bored_zed
Human Captain of the U.S.S. Riff Raff. Don't worry, we handle this kind of thing all the time! Don't ask what.
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alright so one time i walk on the bridge of the Enterprise-A, it was moth balled after the Khitomer conference, if you didn't know, but i swear on my life, i saw MONTGOMERY SCOTT on the bridge! freakin Scotty! we talked for hours about the new classes of starships. it was amazing
can we all just sit back and remember the time kirk went back in time to steal some whales. yes, it saved the earth, but say it out loud. how ridiculous does that sound??? HE EVEN TOOK SOMEONE FROM THE 20TH CENTURY AND WE LET HER JOIN STARFLEET
so APPARENTLY ambassador class star ships are "out dated" and "a liability". SO STAR FLEET MOTH BALLED THE DECIBEL at least star fleet is giving me my first command on a galaxy class. they even let me name it! U.S.S. Riff Raff!
okay okay OKAY! i get it. i shouldn't have fought the Romulan ambassador. sir... sir thats unnecessary. YES I NEEDED THE CLOAKING DEVICE WELL SISKO GOT ONE!!! SIR I UNDERSTAND BUT- FINE I WON'T USE IT! but im not getting rid of it...
okay okay okay i admit it. i thought punching a drunk Klingon was a good idea. turns out- they all are hiding multiple daggers on their person at ALL times.
for first contact day i bought some Vulcan's some drinks. may have been the Klingon equivalent to whiskey, may have not been. you'll never know. and the Vulcan's wont remember.
"my god Bones. what have i done?" "what you do. what you always do, turn death into a fighting chance to live."
ive met quite a few klingons. but only one wont laugh. *ahem* Mr. Worf...
every god damn time i see Riker he's either mounting a chair or talking about mounting- other things...
so i told the transporter chief i could handle pressing a few buttons and sliding up on the console. and um- some ensign now has EXTERNAL organs...
I know it's easier said than done, but whatever you're struggling with right now... Try to be gentle with yourself about it. You're doing your best. Your best is enough. And you, right now, are enough. Good night. I'll see you all in the morning.
ive been on a galaxy class starship a few times in my career but jesus christ those ships didnt have nearly as many problems as Picard's ship! like what the hell are you doing to it dude!?
a couple years back i actually met LT. Barkley. he just talked about how many ways you could die in a transporter and why holodeck characters are the superior race...
YUMMAY!!!
ya know, i once met Picard. he just kinda sat there while his first officer tried out different ways of sitting in a chair. then proceeded to stroke his beard...
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