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Gonna start doing this at work
After the Browns named Dillon Gabriel their new starting quarterback, Shedeur Sanders reacted with a full mime:
He noticed I was wearing the Rollie on my wrist again
Stephen Miller on DC residents: "For the first time in their lives, they can use the parks, they can walk on the streets. You have people who can walk freely at night without having to worry about being robbed or mugged. They are wearing their watches again."
Just saw a 50-year old blonde man buying Trulys….what are you, as 50-year old man, doing with blonde hair?
An acoustic assassination attempt using a bow and arrow
New: US Capitol Police have detained a man just steps from the Capitol who admitted to having guns and a bow and arrow in his vehicle just north of a close-by barricade. USCP say charges are pending, and they are searching the man’s vehicle.
Truly more difficult than celibacy
Time to drop the really big bomb: @OfficialJugdish is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public. Have a nice day, JD!
Mike Wazowski
There are some names that are perfect. They hum with a resonance that connects us to divine truths and heavenly energies. “Regis Philbin” for example
Nice! Looks more like a loaf of sourdough though tbh
Yes, this is me
Going to get ahead of this before you see Patrick Mahomes holding up a newspaper that reads “WORLD CHAMPIONS” I hate this “world” usage. It really throws me off and needs to stop
Streets are calling him AI Manning
Screaming “free bird” at the TV as Carrie Underwood waits to perform
Location is my 700 square ft apartment
Y’all thought Aruba Walking Bets was good…wait 3 weeks have a exciting location planned
Tired of people acting like it’s difficult to make money Have a son—> name him Rinvoq —> train him to be an SEC QB —> NIL deal with AbbVie Not rocket science, folks
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