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Thanks for showing me my big adventures Snapchat
Had to use my friend John’s bathroom
Normalize being extremely busy but accomplishing nothing
Jamie Lee Curtis reading Playgirl > Grimes reading Karl Marx
Just witnessed someone spill their beer on a table and wipe it up with paper towels then wring the paper towels over the leftover glass of beer
being new at a job is so embarrassing for no reason
Can I hold your baby I promise I won’t throw it on the sidewalk
Me: Hey guys let’s go party on the broken glass floor since we all have shoes Guy: but I don’t have shoes Me: but the government gave us all shoes for free Guy: but I said no to the shoes Me: why Guy: because what if the cobblers did something to the laces
Nick Jonas: hey Michael I’ve heard so much about you Joe Jonas: what’s up Michael Kevin jonas: hey there Mi- Make a wish kid: I thought I was pretty clear about no Kevin
Cinderella: do you think I’ll find love at the ball Godmother brushing her hair: you’re friends with rats
These kids today will never know what a luxury it was to have Sweeto Burrito downtown
We drove 9 hours to do a show for 12 people but Honestly I’d hate to do it with anyone else.
Windsor pickle backs? Oh yeah, I really love em...
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