Formal Work Pajamas
@formalworkpjs
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Smell that? That's not a candle you're smelling. That's straight from the source.
The fact that Gwyneth Paltrow got sued and it wasn't for that shady shit she sells is mind boggling to me. ~ my 25 y.o. son
We do not call enough people whippersnappers anymore.
Every night as long as we all shall live we need to cast a very powerful curse upon every single person involved in kidnapping and killing and eating that little girl's goat. They should never know another moment's peace.
If you're asking if people still have a sense of humor, you're not funny.
I only go to Walmart if I need the good lube.
Lost in the words that bring my imagination to life, Playing scenes full of mystery and delight, There are no regrets if they keep me up all night
You deserve someone who stays obsessed with you, not just in the beginning.
If you ever see me “lighting up a room” just know I’m hoping to get murdered.
‘Foul language, sexual content.’ What I hope to find every day.
The people who don’t want to give kids free lunches, have never tried to teach a hungry child.
I have passion in my life, you should see how I behave around sweet potato fries.
I think the Shrek franchise is underrated. I said what I said.
keep ignoring me, it's your funeral - me to every open casket
there's a beautiful kind of loneliness in the pirouette of snowflakes that dance upon the wind
Men, if you are bald it's because you are buying the "annual" hair seeds and not the "perennials"
As a child of the 70s, I sometimes feel guilty for not liking Supertramp all that much.
I will karate kick you so soft you’ll start loving me
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