Definitely not Evan
@goattoad
professional hazard
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I’ll probably just watch lord of the rings
that dog in me had to be put down
9:30 am is my favorite time to get up. you get to feel like you slept in just a little bit without feeling like you’ve missed out on much. shout out to 9:30
not satire i've been in dc for 5 years and the only place to get a cold cut is subway
God i love new york. Where else in the world can you get a sandwich
Pink Floyd is amazing because their original frontman was a genius, one of a kind, top of his generation of songwriter, and then he got too sick to perform and one of the other band members said "I'll have a go" and he also happened to be a genius, one of a kind songwriter
As a Rascal Flatt Earther I believe that Earth is a highway
someone once told me “if you can see a mountain lion, that means it isn’t hunting you.” every day since i have lived in terror
It feels illegal that banks can just withhold your deposit for like a week
I too have included core Da Vinci into my adaptation.
Harry Potter lore: Pheromona Poundcake prepared pies most peculiarly (used slaves) Game of Thrones lore: Tomuglas slept with his sister Rarly who birthed his step-dad Lord Bumm Lord of the Rings lore: Turnplaff, previously known as Ordog, once spent 400 years smoking weed
wondering how they sold liquor as a concept thousands of years ago, like yea i let this poison sit in some old wood in my dank basement for 17 years and when you drink it you make terrible decisions
i think pulling a plate-armoured nobleman off his horse with a billhook and then beating him to death with hammers alongside your boys would be unique among human experiences. closest you get these days is eating crab
she let me hit because of my performance in the marketplace of ideas
Bryan Cranston and Bob Odenkirk are finally free from Vince Gilligan’s razors
miss this
some days you are gilbert grape and some days you eat gilbert grape
gonna blast music and move furniture around so the downstairs neighbors think i'm having a better party
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