iamcapnbrunch's profile picture. bongs after breakfast, blunts b4 lunch, read all my tweets bc I'm Cap'nBrunch

Cap'n Brunch

@iamcapnbrunch

bongs after breakfast, blunts b4 lunch, read all my tweets bc I'm Cap'nBrunch

PORN does in fact lead to blindness. (P-progressive O-outer R-retinal N-necrosis) go read a book you schmuck


7am (caffein),10am (adderall), 6pm(thc), 8pm(z-quil) when someone asks you if you do drugs recreationally 🤔


Robe sleeves come in handy as pot holders #TheMoreYouKnow 🙌🏼🌈


Bland pasta + Ragu = white people food

iamcapnbrunch's tweet image. Bland pasta + Ragu = white people food

Isn't it weird how well mustard and cheese pair as condements? It's like were all afraid to admit it though...


When you're busy as f&@k and your #gym partner texts you and says "gym?"

iamcapnbrunch's tweet image. When you're busy as f&@k and your #gym partner texts you and says "gym?"

Let's all do our part to stop the alcohol abuse #beerlivesmatter

iamcapnbrunch's tweet image. Let's all do our part to stop the alcohol abuse #beerlivesmatter

Alligator vs Python on Florida Golf Course. I wish this would happen to Rory McIlroys leg #mcllroy golf.com/extra-spin/all… via @golf_com


Thanks to Obamas economy L.L.Bean stock is up. A lot more people are camping, mostly under bridges. #obama #change


Deputy shows up drunk to get an award from Moms Against Drunk Driving "Someone give that man a promotion!Oh they did dailykos.com/story/2015/11/…


I don't store or library bc internet #cuz internet


This is where society as a whole is going youtu.be/B3LfpLoE_x0 via @YouTube


The greek word Arctic means, "near the bear" and Antarctic means "no bears". Just something to think about when making travel plans.


According to the Internet the tallest man in the world is from China. So much for keeping our secrets up high.


My gf is mad bc I have time to tweet in the morning but I don't offer to make her tea.


There's a loud fu@kn train outside my window trying to win a contest for most annoying fu@kn train of all time #sweet dreams


How to start a business; get black people to do it so white people want to, then some how get the black people to stop doing it. Calzones 😍😧


This is how my day is going, well in a nutshell

iamcapnbrunch's tweet image. This is how my day is going, well in a nutshell

United States Trends

Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.