Cap'n Brunch
@iamcapnbrunch
bongs after breakfast, blunts b4 lunch, read all my tweets bc I'm Cap'nBrunch
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PORN does in fact lead to blindness. (P-progressive O-outer R-retinal N-necrosis) go read a book you schmuck
7am (caffein),10am (adderall), 6pm(thc), 8pm(z-quil) when someone asks you if you do drugs recreationally 🤔
Robe sleeves come in handy as pot holders #TheMoreYouKnow 🙌🏼🌈
Isn't it weird how well mustard and cheese pair as condements? It's like were all afraid to admit it though...
Alligator vs Python on Florida Golf Course. I wish this would happen to Rory McIlroys leg #mcllroy golf.com/extra-spin/all… via @golf_com
Thanks to Obamas economy L.L.Bean stock is up. A lot more people are camping, mostly under bridges. #obama #change
Deputy shows up drunk to get an award from Moms Against Drunk Driving "Someone give that man a promotion!Oh they did dailykos.com/story/2015/11/…
This is where society as a whole is going youtu.be/B3LfpLoE_x0 via @YouTube
The greek word Arctic means, "near the bear" and Antarctic means "no bears". Just something to think about when making travel plans.
According to the Internet the tallest man in the world is from China. So much for keeping our secrets up high.
My gf is mad bc I have time to tweet in the morning but I don't offer to make her tea.
There's a loud fu@kn train outside my window trying to win a contest for most annoying fu@kn train of all time #sweet dreams
Germany’s about to turn on a nuclear fuzn machine that took1.1 mil. hrs to build, and you haven't read a book in yrs sciencealert.com/first-of-its-k…
sciencealert.com
Germany's About to Switch on a Revolutionary Nuclear Fusion Machine
This thing is a monster.
How to start a business; get black people to do it so white people want to, then some how get the black people to stop doing it. Calzones 😍😧
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