tony, throwing his head into rhodey's lap and looking up at him angelically: platypus, tell me i'm pretty. rhodey, resting a hand on tony's cheek and smiling lovingly at him: you're pretty fucking annoying.
rhodey, after 30 minutes of peaceful silence, completely unprompted: you know... we're best friends, but i would fuck you if you asked. tony: what. rhodey: what. FRIDAY: he said he'd fuck you if you asked.
pepper: how did the two of you get in a car accident? rhodey: we were driving, and there was a deer in the road. so, i said “deer” to alert tony, and what did you say? tony, hiding his face in his hands: "yes, honey?"
[mit era] rhodey: bro, i had a dream we fucked. tony: bro, it’s just a dream. rhodey: uh, gay. i wouldn’t fuck you. tony: you wouldn’t? rhodey: i mean unless you want to.
tony: i did a lot of dumb stuff. happy: i witnessed the dumb stuff. FRIDAY: i recorded the dumb stuff. rhodey: i joined you in the dumb stuff. pepper: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!
clint: [sneezes] rhodey: sam: [sneezes] rhodey: bless you tony: [sneezes] rhodey: tony, are you sick? here let me wrap you up in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup. steve: [sneezes] rhodey: oh my god. shut the fuck up.
bruce: how are you doing? rhodey: not good. the doctor had bad news. bruce: what's wrong? rhodey: the doctor was really worried. bruce: why? rhodey: he said i'm lacking vitamin U. bruce:
rhodey, walking into the kitchen: is something on fire? tony: just my desire for you rhodey: tones, the toaster is on fire. tony: are you sure it's not you that's on fire, cause you're hot. rhodey: rhodey:
[after a battle where tony was being reckless AGAIN] rhodey: are you okay? tony: yes. rhodey: are you hurt? tony: no. rhodey: THEN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, YOU IDIOT
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