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Me: I desperately want affection and intimacy. Brain: Ok, so interact with people. Me: Ugh.
Quick question, on a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to get drunk at a funeral? Hurry up and lmk because I’m already 3 shots deep and they’re about to bring out the casket.
Everyday is National Tequila Day when you’re on a path of destruction and self-sabotage.
I’m an extroverted introvert. That means I‘ll either talk your ear off like I’ve done 4 lines of coke, taken 30mg of Adderall, and drank 7 cups of coffee OR I’ll be Buddhist monk vow of silence mute. There is no in between.
My problems all stem from allowing myself to make decisions.
I end up with an “Introvert Hangover” after I have to socialize and just have to retreat into myself to find the reset button. It can’t be rushed.
I watch way too many episodes of the X-Files and Supernatural. Whenever I hear about a tragic murder-suicide, all I think about is what kind of ghosts that event created.
You know a store is bad when you think “wow, I should’ve just gone to Walmart”.
I enjoy my job but at the same time I hope the power goes out everyday.
If my delusions have taught me anything it’s that I’m more awesome than people realize.
i feel like this has been said 789 MILLIONxs. But, for those of you that are slow. Or just plain brazenly stupid. 🗣️ A FOLLOW BACK DOES NOT MEAN DM A LADY!!!! k... we all clear now?? maybe???
Bosses have meetings just to steal your day off and hear themselves talk for hours as if you dont see enough of them every day as it is
Unexpected doorbell ring= instant anger
Don't worry tweeps. I won't abandon you for the weekend. My life is just as empty and pathetic on Saturday and Sunday as it is M-F.
My aversion to meetings probably limits my career, but so would jail time, so you see my predicament.
Today seems like a perfectly good day to stay in bed and shut the world out for a while
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