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hmm. i have a very cold, swollen set of genetalia. Mr. Tumnus may have to be dissapointed this evening...
just penis-lifted a jumbo 5Kg bag of frozen vegetables. beat that!
...wonder how much weight this baby can take without doing any permanent damage.
and it all breaks down at the role reversal... got the muse in my head she's universal.
if chavs put as much energy into finding a job as they do into beating the shit out of each other we'd be out of recession by now #Millwall
leopards log, stardate 343.6, moral is at an all-time low since someone accidentally delete the Tekken 5 from the holodeck's memory. curses.
sometimes it's faded, disintegrated, for fear of growing old.
how do remove this bastard I ♥ NHS thing from my profile pic? The moment has gone people, the moment has gone. Return to your normal lives.
will switching to Charmin Ultra help me climb the social ladder? #WeLoveTheNHS
wants to crush Dan Hannan with our mighty leopard paws. #welovethenhs
sooo hungry. no breakfast + early morning = one hungry leopard. i could eat anything right now, a car tyre, a shoe, anything!
well, speed dating was of limited success. my leopardish appearance is clearly somewhat shocking for human females. will try again next week
going to try 'speed dating' tonight. apparently it's like dogging but middle class and therefore more socially acceptable. splendid.
watching daytime TV - about as fun as eating my own genitals. The orange man keeps saying things are 'cheap as chips'. I don't understand...
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