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Tech guys be ignoring their gfs to tweet about AI model releases… bro you’re worried about the wrong Gemini
Do they make an Ozempic for guys who can’t stop staying up until 3 AM reading about card magic
Spent the day vibe reading. You just take pictures of each page and ask GPT to explain it. I’ve never learned so much 🙌
Spending my entire birthday collecting loyalty rewards. Currently on my 4th iced coffee and just canceled dinner with my girlfriend to claim a 15% discount at North Face.
I don’t see the point in saving money when the world is clearly gonna end soon
This deep, guttural rage I feel while driving is surely caused by traffic conditions and nothing else
Every day I send my breadwinner girlfriend 3 tweets about being unemployed and 1 tweet about how much I hate getting out of bed
Hitting a parlay feels so good. Like I literally knew that was gonna happen, and then it did.
“horror movies aren’t scary dude they’re not even real” yeah but like what if they were
I feel like if I was late to work I could win the Olympics in speed walking
Walking somewhere in 15 minutes after Google maps says it’ll takes 18
Only voting for Trump so he can run this country from prison like El Chapo
It’s criminal that there are 10 planet of the apes movies and not a single one is titled “gorilla warfare”
No clue why kids aren’t allowed to be chimney sweeps when they are the literal perfect size to fit inside chimneys
Buying a Dunkin box o’ Joe and sitting there until I finish my screenplay
I don’t endorse negging but “are you from New Jersey” is my most successful pickup line
I hate when girls say they love to travel or enjoy physical touch. Those are both fouls. We will lose the game
Not once have I gotten the lyrics right when the DJ says “let me hear you sing it”
United States Trends
- 1. McDermott N/A
- 2. Beane N/A
- 3. #MLKDay N/A
- 4. Don Lemon N/A
- 5. Dr. King N/A
- 6. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. N/A
- 7. Daboll N/A
- 8. Happy MLK N/A
- 9. KKK Act N/A
- 10. Pegula N/A
- 11. Joe Brady N/A
- 12. Buffalo N/A
- 13. Norway N/A
- 14. Valentino Garavani N/A
- 15. Sherwood N/A
- 16. Nobel Peace Prize N/A
- 17. Dolly N/A
- 18. MLK Jr. N/A
- 19. Pete Nance N/A
- 20. Christians N/A
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