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if the power goes out during this snow storm I will stay warm because my fat ass has already eaten 28,000 calories today
when god sings with his creations george springer will not be part of the choir
the universe really senses when your life is shit and says “fuck your car too”
Certified lindsey moment
i'm not paying student loans if there are aliens sorry
lindsey tattoo
🏳️🌈 RETWEET TO WIN 🏳️🌈 We're kicking off the weekend with Pride Night at @TMobilePark, so hit that retweet button for a chance to win this Pride Prize Pack thanks to the @MarinersStore!
why do I have to work 8 hours straight instead of 8 hours gay?
y’all know of any full time jobs that won’t make me want to kill myself every time i walk in the door
i do not feel good
If u can’t handle me at my hootin then u don’t deserve me at my hollerin
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