miranda
@micro_nin
i have to stop talking to my coworkers about my problems
this pregnant lady got her shirt off in the club pouring shots of breast milk. a man who we later learned is the father had to crawl to his car bc he was too drunk to walk. she said she hopes he dies because he wants to name the kid Dakota & she already has two sons named Dakota
My uncle died and a week later a fat seagull smashed through my screen door and ate hot dog skin from my garage. I knew it was him, andall I could do was smile
jojo i blocked my girlfriend for this i am free saturday night if you are free on saturday night let me know since that is when i am free, on saturday night if you want to hang out on saturday together when i’m free
i do better on instagram because i make up for lack of funny with pretty face™️
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