myschieff's profile picture.

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@myschieff

My mom forgot my birthday again this year. One of these years she is going to send a card or text.


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“DAD, HOW GOOD WAS CHRIS CARTER IN HIS PRIME?” The greatest hands of all time — Carter would catch every ball thrown his way. 🐐🐐🐐

From NFL Legacy

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opening the air fryer and one old chicken nugget at the bottom is just staring back at you like this

girldrawsghosts's tweet image. opening the air fryer and one old chicken nugget at the bottom is just staring back at you like this

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Happy staying home tonight to all who celebrate.


Carlos is getting neutered today. Pour some out for his balls. RIP

myschieff's tweet image. Carlos is getting neutered today.   Pour some out for his balls.   RIP

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I've never seen Lutheran architecture in a single family home before.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Architectolder's tweet image. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.


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I have learned I have a Massive trade Deficit with Trader Joe’s! Every month I Buy hundreds of Dollars WORTH of groceries* from them and They buy Nothing from ME!! From now On I will charge myself An extra 15 percent on my purchases! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER


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itswords_'s tweet image.

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“I hope this email finds you before I do”

From now on, I am starting violent emails with "to whom it WILL concern". I want to be clear that I am fighting!



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i wish other professions besides pro sports had trades. like damn, glenn from HR got traded for cash considerations


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"Free for a quick call? Easier to explain on the phone."

_TommyMason's tweet image. "Free for a quick call? Easier to explain on the phone."

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I’m “brought a note to the cashier so I could buy my mom cigarettes” years old.


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first they came for roger stone, and i said “great.” next, they came for alex jones and i said “good news.” then they came for donald trump and i said “this is also excellent”


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t_jayx's tweet image.

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this is my greatest creation

samwaltjones's tweet image. this is my greatest creation

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"YOU ARE TOO UNINFORMED TO REGULATE GUNS, YOU THINK THE 'AR' IN AR-14 STANDS FOR ASSAULT RIFLE" my dudes, you just made abortion illegal and I'm entirely sure you cannot find the clitoris


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