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My friends to me after telling them all of my Kate Middleton theories
During the middle ages, talkative women were punished by being forced to wear metal cages on their heads.
Chad le Clos is in the pool next on NBC reminder:
Why does this frog look like @brooklynbeckham
During the middle ages, talkative women were punished by being forced to wear metal cages on their heads.
“He’s Just Not That Into You” sequel but for nondescript “centrist” white dudes who are chasing the unattainable Presidency and don’t see the Senate right in front of them #DemDebate
I know factually this was not a call to me, but Nell is an incredibly uncommon name so I choose to watch this and pretend that she is speaking to me. Having a weird name never pays off so I’m taking my first W over the Kates, Sarahs, Hannahs and Emilys @ewarren
I’m relying on grassroots donors like Nell to fuel this campaign.
1994: If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit 2019: If the tweet brings heat, you must retweet
Dear @netflix can u plz create a Fyre Festival-like documentary but about the #AdmissionsScam ASAP, thx (maybe with a corny Full House pun title like “Big House” even?!?!)
And Senator Mike Lee looks like a fat Senator Chris Murphy who just went through a bad divorce.
Bill Barr looks like the love child of John Goodman and studious Steve Bannon don’t @ me
Already rooting for Olivia Colman to win again next year for The Crown so she can officially corner the market on British Queens #GoldenGlobeAwards
In 2016 we hit rock bottom. In 2017 we discovered that rock bottom has a basement. In 2018 we found a mining shaft in the basement. Here’s to 2019!
Have we considered that maybe @realDonaldTrump was just trying to hype the @ArianaGrande video drop this morning??? We can all agree this is #VeryLegalAndVeryCool
I paid $9.99 for Tinder Plus which seemed dumb until I realized I could change my location & campaign in swing states
This brilliant parody song proves why it's anything but a 'scary time' for men
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, but dumber.
Over 8 months later and there are still American citizens in Puerto Rico without power with Hurricane season beginning in just 6 days. US Virgin Islands are still in crisis. Flint still doesn’t have clean water. 1,475 migrant children are missing. But a wall, a parade and golf.
This transcript is hard reading. This is the ACLU lawyer pleading with the court.
Good work everyone who claimed those “animal” comments were just about MS-13 and taken “out of context”. This is the context. Also his family came here about two generations ago so they didn’t “tame” shit. But whatever. Time to go scream into a pillow.
Donald Trump says 'our ancestors tamed a continent' and 'we are not going to apologize for America' bit.ly/2IOo0Fq
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