neverneverlan's profile picture. Don't send PMs not even to Thank me for a follow...NO one likes that shit !!!!! 🖒🖒🖒✌✌✌

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@neverneverlan

Don't send PMs not even to Thank me for a follow...NO one likes that shit !!!!! 🖒🖒🖒✌✌✌

Pinned

Having a kid is like living with a poltergeist, nothing is where you left it and its always covered in some kind of goo when you do find it!


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I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing wrong but I'm nailing it.


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Plot twist: Monday dreads seeing me.


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I was told that I could have anything as long as I applied myself, but the loan officer at my bank begs to differ.


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The best part about going to college in your late 30s is that everyone holds the door for you because they can't be sure if you're a professor or not.


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Don't fuck with me, I will not hesitate to tickle you to wake you up.


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Passive-aggressive is the least effective aggressive.


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Due to personal reasons I will be lying in the fetal position in the shower for the next 30 minutes


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Sooooo, you're on your 100th Twitter beef now. I'm sure it's everyone else and not you.


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One advantage of looking creepy is people tend to avoid conversations with you.


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I found out why I don't photograph well. It's my face


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If we had the motivation of dogs, we’d wag our tails instead of middle fingers.


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I have the temper of a much more successful person.


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"Maybe they just need a cigarette..." – Me, when babies cry.


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If you get married while standing in the ticket holders' line at the Star Wars premiere, may divorce be with you.


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People who work in coffee shops tend to be really grounded


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England fans wrecked an IKEA to celebrate their win. Here's everything IKEA will need to put the store back together. #ENGSWE

FattMernandez's tweet image. England fans wrecked an IKEA to celebrate their win. Here's everything IKEA will need to put the store back together. #ENGSWE

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I only eat vegetarians.


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