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@neverneverlan
Don't send PMs not even to Thank me for a follow...NO one likes that shit !!!!! 🖒🖒🖒✌✌✌
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Having a kid is like living with a poltergeist, nothing is where you left it and its always covered in some kind of goo when you do find it!
I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing wrong but I'm nailing it.
I was told that I could have anything as long as I applied myself, but the loan officer at my bank begs to differ.
The best part about going to college in your late 30s is that everyone holds the door for you because they can't be sure if you're a professor or not.
Don't fuck with me, I will not hesitate to tickle you to wake you up.
Passive-aggressive is the least effective aggressive.
Due to personal reasons I will be lying in the fetal position in the shower for the next 30 minutes
Sooooo, you're on your 100th Twitter beef now. I'm sure it's everyone else and not you.
One advantage of looking creepy is people tend to avoid conversations with you.
I found out why I don't photograph well. It's my face
If we had the motivation of dogs, we’d wag our tails instead of middle fingers.
I have the temper of a much more successful person.
"Maybe they just need a cigarette..." – Me, when babies cry.
If you get married while standing in the ticket holders' line at the Star Wars premiere, may divorce be with you.
People who work in coffee shops tend to be really grounded
England fans wrecked an IKEA to celebrate their win. Here's everything IKEA will need to put the store back together. #ENGSWE
![jabronieFD's profile picture. Grab life by the grips and twist the hell outta the right one! [Ut Alii Vivere]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/917492506870407168/2Zx3XwXV.jpg)
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