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"Guys I never thought I would have to say this, but no porn at the dinner table"
Bacons are like dicks. No one wants a soft one in their mouth.
Other than the fact the she had no arms or legs, she was really hot. #rutgersconfessions
“@robdelaney: It’s “legal” to have sex with someone born in 1995, but I’d rather be hit by 5 cars.”
milk would be so much more disgusting if it came out of the cows vagina....
RT @robdelaney: Here's to masturbating in your childhood bedroom this weekend!
New @UVM_cycling sponsor #bacon store.baconsalt.com/baconlube-tm-s…
Fat people in the sun on a hot day: just like greased pigs
Why do all my conversations always end up talking about poop or sex? #7hourvanride
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