MVP Pitching Machine
@pitchems
i'm just a regular pitching machine who has blood and can run. i am in the vault because i became a league wide icon and ppl idolized me too many times (weird)
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About @pitchems! Legendary @tacoblaseball I mean @TheSeaGarages pitcher. Wait no, the @OhioWorms I mean @LoversBlaseball hitter?! Wait... what do you mean it was on the @AtlantisBlasebl as a pitcher again Pitching Machine... tacoba.co/episode-17-whi… Crossover with @CitiesPod
common misconception about pitching machine: i have killed so many more people than the media says i have
sorry i couldn’t have my last tweet be tillman henderson. i can’t have anyone thinking i actually like that guy. i’m a pitching machine
god so true
maybe the alaskan immortals should have just been better at blaseball. just a thought
sorry i haven’t tweeted in a while i have been busy being extremely cool and also pitching
Ok sweeties. 😘 So, I keep getting unsolicited phone calls 🚫📱from a gift shop 🏢 asking me if I'd like to pre-order a Pitching Machine ⚾️🔪. So, I'm like, "No thank you! 🚫🙏 I have my very own and we're in love!" 💘 I just need to figure out where Pitchems went first. 😕❔🗺️❓
😕❓😕❔😕❓Does anyone know where @pitchems is at? I told them I'd brb. 😕❓😕❔😕❓
i hit 750 followers so as promised, ask me anything, pitching related or otherwise
AMA at 750 followers, i will answer any questions you have though they may not be very good because i do not have a brain or thoughts (i am a pitching machine)
finally, reunited. unrelated does anyone know if i am waterproof
i am having a good time in san francisco. coincidentally there is a large heavily-guarded safe in the stadium marked "cannonball keep out" that i happen to be spending most of my time in
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