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To masturbate or not masturbate...That's not even a question.
Found a long blonde hair in my zipper but unfortunately nothing good happened to make it a better story than that.
It's been so long since I've touched one, I'm beginning to think the 40 year old virgin's description of tits as bags of sand is accurate.
Being this lonely is almost as bad as that one time I ...oh look, Doritos!
If being comfortable knowing who I want to give my time and energy to makes me a dick, then I'm a dick.
Females using the term lolly gagging always brings an interesting visual.
Had a female in conversation question the expression, "give a fuck." Saying that she only takes a fuck, never gives. And now I have a boner.
What I wouldn't give to be the paintbrush you used to put them pants on.
Ohh, you're artistic...I see. Well maybe you should learn the art of shut the fuck up?
Just scrolled by a pic of a bunny and at first I thought it was a penis and now you know where my mind is right now. Yep. Easter.
![potatoheckyes's profile picture. I'm a writer, baker, french fry maker, crafter, raver, acid taker!! ;]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/860010953315954688/jop-6P26.jpg)
United States Trends
- 1. #NFLHonors N/A
- 2. #TheTraitorsUS N/A
- 3. Matthew Stafford N/A
- 4. Roger Craig N/A
- 5. Druski N/A
- 6. Luke Kuechly N/A
- 7. Drew Brees N/A
- 8. Candiace N/A
- 9. Mike Verbal N/A
- 10. Colton N/A
- 11. #KeepPounding N/A
- 12. #thepitt N/A
- 13. #TNAiMPACT N/A
- 14. Larry Fitzgerald N/A
- 15. Darren Woodson N/A
- 16. Torry Holt N/A
- 17. Joe Thuney N/A
- 18. Adam Vinatieri N/A
- 19. Tiffany Haddish N/A
- 20. DROY N/A
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