Madison
@queeftiger
alt account. Aggressively trying to entertain myself. Sir, this is satire. Honk honk you like that baby? It's Maybe Sexy Right Now? coming Fall 2024
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having a therapist is so funny like this is my emotional support 26 year old white girl with a masters degree
I am not saying that you have to listen to a 12 hour Spotify playlist before I will go out with you but it would sure help
Instead of a mattress, you should buy this picture of my feet I just took under my desk at work. You know, to celebrate President's Day.
What if who you are at the bottom of the bottle is the real you?
Imagine if you banged Santa for the gifts and he was worse than your boyfriend at giving them
My TB (Twitter bestie) owns this amazing female-centric co-working space and you can contribute to one of her programs to give women free/discounted access to an office space: blushcowork.com/womens-work-pr…
On this Cyber Monday, I'm encouraging y'all to stop being such capitalists and consider some of the following instead of the typical inside the box shopping 🧵
I have a challenge for you, first one to make me cum wins. A few of you have tried and failed. Do me (proud)
Even if I were just a piece of ass, I would be worthy of so much more than you offer
I never knew what comfort was until we met and I never felt true loneliness until you were gone
Take off your Birkenstocks, baby, so I can shave your toes.
Save some of that unconditional love for yourself.
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