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Finding a matchbook gotta be one of the best ways to pick up the trail
Your frother, toothbrush, razor, and vibrator should all be one thing with different attachments
Really pissed at Curtis Sliwa but for interpersonal stuff completely unrelated to the election
Just walked through midtown and only half of this is true
POV: you wake up in New York City tomorrow morning
Randomly I'm hosting a Halloween roast show tmr night at @thegutter with funny people like @LukasTArnold, Clare Donaher, @MeganBitchell, @eionfalance, Divya Gunasekaran, @VerboseDebose, Jessie Lee, even @erikmartinii, with standup from @Feldfrog whoa! tix: partiful.com/e/Y7gFGHsC3lIC…
Rachel Maddow issued a harrowing warning? What's next, my cat scratches me even though I'm so nice?
Instead of using dice I just ask my most random friend for a number
In 2009 I heard the song Sleepyhead and thought we had reached the end of music.
While I identify as a man, I'm actually attracted to women. It's complicated.
If some droning voice was like "We expect more from you, 676." I'd probably be like this sucks lol I wonder if they are lying about the outside world
I would hate if an old woman grabbed me and said "you're already dead"
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