KTMFS
@theKTMFS
Industry. Breweries. Teaching. The coolest person you know.
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So Elon goes "Kill the Bill!" and Trump goes "Elon has TDS!" so Elon goes "I'm the reason Trump won!" so Trump goes "we waste billions on Elon!" so Elon goes "Epstein!" and a flunkie goes "Deport!" and Elon goes "Impeach!" And THAT'S why women are too emotional to be President.
Heard @ADAMDEVINE just dropped a comedy special on Netflix today. I only had one beer after my shift so I could scuttle home to watch it 🦄💁🏼♀️
In life, pure coincidences are statistically common, so a remarkable day is one where no coincidences occur at all.
The antidote to government by a powerful few is government by the organized, energized many. This National Voter Registration Day, make sure you're registered, vote early if you can, or show up on November 6. This moment is too important to sit out.
I’m not ok. People say stupid, hurtful, asinine things every day on social media. @JamesGunn is being crucified for 7yo tweets and @therealDonaldTrump is trying to incite international chaos from the OVAL OFFICE, probably as I type. We’re doomed.
“Let’s stop asking the average person what they think. Do you know how fucking stupid the average person is?”-@rickygervais 😂👏🏻
When did it become okay to be more offended by what someone with no power says than by what someone with power does?
The holidays for me as an unattached 30-something are basically coming up with excuses for why there’s a lingering skunk smell around me💨and I️ love my brother for NEVER ratting me out when he hears my “explanations“❤️
Starting today, you can sign up for 2018 health coverage. Head on over to HealthCare.gov and find a plan that meets your needs.
Today’s the day! You can go to HealthCare.gov and sign up for health coverage. Need a pep talk first? @BarackObama has you covered.
Shit that makes me happy: Taking a shit while watching fail videos. I’m pooping and not failing. That’s winning. Boom.
Someone designed this. Then someone approved it for production. Then someone printed it. Than someone bought it and put it on their car.
When the BIG BOSS spots you out with friends unexpectedly and publicly confesses his undying gratefulness...😊🦄 I do a great job 💁🏼
ICYMI: YOU could get riggity wrecked with Justin and Dan while recording Rick and Morty DVD commentary. Enter HERE: bit.ly/2hlFFr7
Yeah, Hulu. I'm still binge watching. That's why you exist. You wanna be demoted to passing butter? Hm?
I still think there should be a dinosaur named the Thesaurus. And I imagine Thesaurus Rex would be badass with wordplay.
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