pesto
@utter_pest
it's clinically much too big
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loooool probably shouldn't tweet this but I'm drunk n felt cute so here goes
playing a game that is very clearly marketed towards small children and that makes my £1500+ gaming PC smell like burning. its fucking awesome 100 hours this week
rest in peace hulk hogan you really were not that great of a guy but i watched a documentary featuring you while i was practicing a speedrun once and now i heavily associate spyro 3 crystal island gem swim with you, so that's something
i wish i had a clone so she could shave my arsehole for me (i would do hers in return of course)
if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. true happiness comes from building dashboards that give executives deeper insight into critical business functions
noting you do to reduce your impact on the climate will ever compensate for the existence of americans
My sister mentioned to her man she had to go to the store for water. Within 30 mins this was outside her door 😭❤️
when i was 13 i met a boy on holiday who asked me how long you should know someone before asking them out, and I said 3 months. on the 3 month anniversary of us meeting he asked me out via email and i said no
Jeremy: ...I've watched Grand Designs with you. That smile when some eco-glass gets delayed on its way from Antwerp and the nice couple gets pushed over budget. That's the real you.
im at a party with a friend of a friend and i truly believe a bitch this bad only comes around once a century
MY HUSBAND IS DEAD I don't want to remarry I just want SEX
I looooove touching a bunch of dirty change then rubbing my eyes fuckkkkk
i'm still alive i'm just kinda healthy atm so i haven't got anything funni to sya. hope ur all well i bought a 2m hoe mirror
do u think people in 2008 were naked weighing themselves on their wii fit boards instead of getting a set of bathroom scales
BREAKING NEWS: The Trump shooter is alive and locked Jhin in my game
americans are so brandpilled they couldn't possibly concieve of just calling something what it is rather than its brand name. utter melts
british people calling sprite and 7-up “lemonade” and referring to what americans call lemonade as “cloudy lemonade” is underdiscussed as a reason to hate the english
(desperate for cock) Yeah Banjo-Kazooie has beautiful skyboxes
Brat summer is all fun and games until you die from doing fent laced coke in bushwick and your parents have to come identify your body and you were wearing a miniskirt with no panties
United States Trends
- 1. Lakers N/A
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- 6. Kawhi N/A
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- 8. Vando N/A
- 9. Paolini N/A
- 10. #TNAiMPACT N/A
- 11. #criticalrolespoilers N/A
- 12. John Collins N/A
- 13. #thepitt N/A
- 14. Jovic N/A
- 15. Harden N/A
- 16. Draymond N/A
- 17. Autopilot N/A
- 18. Zubac N/A
- 19. #LakeShow N/A
- 20. Maki N/A
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