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2020 might not have given us much, but at least it gave us the Great British Bake Off X Texas Chainsaw Massacre crossover that nobody asked for
With this vaccine taking as long as it is to drop, I feel like somehow Frank Ocean is involved
Week 3 at the new office, after a year of WFH — I’m now realizing I’ve spent 3 hours “collecting my thoughts out loud” (a well-decorated way to say “having conversations with myself”) and I can only pray that nobody in my surrounding set of desks is planning an exorcism for me.
MY FIRST SONG: PAINFUL OBSESSION OUT NOW ON EVERYTHING LINK IN THE BIO
Painful Obsession - 11/14 9PM EST/6PM PST Please stream this shit on Thursday..I’m tired of this desk job life...
A New Years party *composed of 30 Jewish babyboomers and me* is exactly like an episode of Curb, except the jokes are less comically striking and I've never had to justify my hair to Larry David
Ah yes, July 4th. The yearly gathering of Americans in parks to witness the live re-creation of a Windows '98 screensaver.
Living in NYC last summer has ruuuined me -- Tonight at synagogue an elderly gentlemen was wearing 👴🏻👟geriatric footwear👟👴🏻 and I found myself mentally assessing if his "illthy hypebeast kicks" were real Dior or AliExpress.
I feel comparatively underdressed in Tampa, Florida because I don't have my AARP card strapped to my thigh.
List of serious activities than can be done to the Seinfeld theme song: -
Opening a bag of Sunchips in a silent room isn't massively distracting, it's just ASMR.
I️ want everybody to started ending their sentences in “Type Beat”
Preparing to focus and critically engage with (at absolute most) 3 minutes of television without mindlessly refreshing the Twitter.
Minute 0:00:00 into watching Requiem for a Dream vs. Minute 1:41:56
Ate at Corky and Lenny's for the first time since the days of my jewish youth and forgot the wholesome feeling of mistaking 50% of a room for Larry David.
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