DOCTOR SAUSAGE Consistently Inconsistent
@AdhdConsistent1
I will: let you down; buy you flowers; be a dick; squeeze you tight; balls it all up. I love you/I am indifferent. I wish it weren't so. Diagnosis@40 she/her/it
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Glorious 70 seconds of Nigel Farage going from uber-confident, to absolutely crestfallen.
Research conducted at the University of Stanford concluded that a racially diverse group has the ability to solve problems more effectively than a group with only one race in it.
Dog had a raspy cough. The vet went right over him, x ray, blood tests and it was all a big mystery. Out of the blue the vet asked me to cough. I coughed...the dog coughed...I coughed...dog coughed again. Turned out the whole family had colds and the dog was trying to fit in.
so happy we can finally call them quarter pounders and not 454 grammers
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Here's Prince William riding his horse but with googly eyes on his hat.
I put off really easy simple tasks at work for no reason. Sometimes I'll literally be sweating from anxiety because it becomes such a huge weight on my back. Then at the last minute I'll do it and feel so silly. I do this at least once a week.
You can’t make them care, but once they stop pretending to care, you’re in trouble theguardian.com/politics/2022/…
theguardian.com
Boris Johnson accused of changing ministerial code to ‘save his skin’
Rewritten rules remove need to resign – instead ministers can apologise or temporarily lose pay for breaches
Hungover and running late for work. Phone sandwiched between ear and shoulder, coffee in hand and reaching in my bag for Oyster card. Repeatedly tapping the card with no luck until I looked down and saw I was using an Always Ultra
In my secondary school days I was late. Had breakfast, got dressed, walked out the door. Was wondering why it was so cold outside when I looked down and realised I had walked out the house without my skirt on. Thank god for tights.
Please retweet if you think that there needs to be a public inquiry in to the @metpoliceuk handling of #Partygate
Get in, there’s no time to explain.
I've got loads of voicemail messages on my phone. But I haven't listened to a voicemail in about 5 years. I hope nobody is leaving me a message about an opportunity of a lifetime.
In 2007 my then girlfriend had a flat in London, in which you couldn't get from the bed to the bathroom without passing some giant windows. One morning while hungover on the way to the loo I saw Neil Kinnock moving in to the house opposite. I did a naked dance until he saw me.
Sat next to a beautiful girl on a long distance train journey. After an hour or so, I needed the toilet and wanted to ask politely if I could "squeeze out". What I actually said was, "I need to squeeze one out". She had moved by the time I came back.
I did not choose to forget something (son) Yes you did (his dad) Why would I choose this (son) You chose to not be aware (his dad) One of these people had ADHD and the other person knows it. I am listening downstairs.
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